I'll start with Roaches. I have always been scared of roaches. They are black and they scurry real fast. They creep me out. I'm getting the shivers just thinking about it. I'm not talking like a normal girl scared either. I'm talking like one time when I was home alone (for a whole 5 hours or so) I saw a roach in the study and ran out screaming and shaking and then after watching the door for about 30 minutes finally got the nerve to run and shut the door and stuff towels under the cracks so it couldn't get out and my parents could take care of it when they got home. I have never killed a roach. I'm too afraid that they will be faster than me and when I go to squish it will climb up my foot.
One time in high school, I believe this was the summer after my sophomore year... maybe junior year our family friends, the Bryan's, oldest daughter was getting married. My mom volunteered to house the grooms family and all the groomsmen for the entire weekend of the wedding. We had never met these people and so my mom was freaking out trying to make the house as clean as possible before anyone arrived. We spent weeks trying to get everything perfect. My mom was in high stress mode and we all know that when this is the case we should just stay out of sight and pray that she doesn't spot us.
Well it was the day before everyone was to arrive and my mother had ordered us to scrub our bathrooms and do one final room clean. I was in the bathroom, minding my own business, sitting on the side of the tub and scrubbing away. I was wearing shorts and the shower curtain was lightly touching my leg. All of a sudden I felt something drop on my leg. At first I assumed it was the shower curtain and kept on with my business. Then it moved. And to my complete horror when I looked down... there was a big, nasty, disgusting, horrible roach crawling on my leg. I immediately jumped up and started screaming my head off. My mom is downstairs and screams to see what is wrong. I run to the banister and start yelling that a roach is in my bathroom and the water is running and there is no way in H-E-L-L that I am going back in there until she kills that thing. She starts yelling that there is no way she is coming up there and I better take care of it myself. By now my entire body is shaking and I am crying hysterically. Seriously I am. After about 5 minutes of my mom yelling at me to get my butt back in there and turn off the dang water and stop acting like such a baby I get the nerve to go check out the situation.
And what do I see you ask? Somehow the plug has stopped so that the bath tub is filling up and the roach is SWIMMING in the water. Oh ya right!!! Like I am going to stick my hand in there and unplug the drain. So I return to the banister and cry some more. Hoping my tears will soften her heart to come help her darling second child at the age of 15 to just kill the roach for goodness sake! It didn't work. By now the tub is about to overflow and I am tearfully on the floor begging my little sister to do the job for me. She says no. I beg and beg. It doesn't work. I say I'll pay her 5 dollars to pull the plug and then kill the roach. She says okay. Finally, someone is on my side. She gets the job done and I pay up. I still think about this almost every time I get in the shower. I look up on top of that shelf above my toilet and pray that there are no roaches up there today. Thankfully it hasn't happened since. But I have never done a great job cleaning the tub since then. I just get in and get it done asap. The faster the better.
Next to come: Crickets in my pants and in the car.